that the person i’d miss most would be you.
home on the 2nd.
hope you’re still there and haven’t forgotten me.
and, maybe, you miss me too?
“”i’ve been jumping from the tops of buildings for the thrill of the fall. ignoring sound advice and any thought of consequence. my bones are shattered, my pride is shattered. and in the midst of this self inflicted pain, i can see my beautiful rescue.”
he plays his guitar as i run and hide.
i don’t want to see him because it floods back.
he is everything i ever wanted or needed.
but the years have passed by in pounds.
he’ll never want me again.
my first love and only.
no more wishful thinking of ‘one day’
Thursday 9 OctoberI was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, and I received a call from Stephanie (in San Diego, not Deal). Completely unexpected, but absolutely great! It was perfect timing! I haven’t actually talked (emails don’t count because I can’t hear a person’s voice) to anyone from back home for over a week. I wasn’t feeling too down or homesick, but it still lifted my spirits quite a bit and made me smile! Thanks!
that is a snippet from my friend rachael’s blog! she is in france and i miss her, and am totally and completly jealous.
anyways. everything is coming together for the cobra tour. i am so happy i just might cry! 12 days left. stephy will be here on the 20th and we will be leaving the 22nd to head up to portland to meet the band. i am super excited. it’s just a countdown now. las vegas will be so much fun. getting to see the academy is twice, once there and once at home. i just hope i am not a total dork infront of “what’s his name” like i always am. i just freeze up. ha. but crystal will be there to make things easier. i love that girl.
october is getting into full swing and i am so excited about it.
vegas this weekend for syd’s birthday, plus the academy is show.
then another, the academy is show in san diego.
my last day at peohe’s is on the 20th.
then cobra tour with stephy from the 22nd-4th.
and lucky enough, our tour stint
will end in san diego on election day.
obama, obama, obama….
there hasn’t been many bands or songs that have brought me to tears. -the first time i heard ‘yesterday’ by the beatles. -my dad playing the song he wrote for me when i was born. -after jacob died, listening to sarah mclachlan’s angel. -the first time i watched the academy is from side stage (stfu! i am not a fan girl. it was just a very emotional day and… just yeah. i don’t need to validate why!) anyways. today, was very normal. woke up with a headache, lied to parents, hung out with eric, then hung out with sydnie and jp. on my drive home my iPhone was on shuffle as usual and fall out boy came on. nothing weird about that. it was the song “get busy living or get busy dying (do your part to save the scene and stop going to shows)” and i just started bawling. crying my eyes out on the 5 south while getting into downtown area. i don’t know what happened. i think a lyric just struck some cord in me. i finally stopped crying right around H street in chula vista.
does this have some deeper meaning? or am i just in need of a good cry?
(ps: last night was the first time in a long while where i felt normal. thank you. even though you’ll never read this.)
i can smell it before it happens. no body believes me until it starts to pour. my heart begins to swell with happiness. i want to just sit and listen to it. no tv. no phone. no music. no light. (other than the sun blocked by the dark rain clouds) just the rain and a cup of hot tea as i listen to it hit my sky light. i watch it turn everything shiny. the old and dirty get washed down the drains. it smells clean. wet wood and concrete. i want to bottle the scent. i want it to last for days. then after, the world seems new. the smog has gone and it is clear all the way to the coronado islands off the coast. you can see the mountains to the left. rain is my favorite thing in the whole entire world.
please stop sending me myspace messages talking bad about me, and my friend. i am no longer going to read them. they will just be deleted. okay? this is the last you’ll ever be thought or spoken of. don’t hide behind the internet. next time you see me and have something to say, come up to me and say it. okay?