there is nothing in this entire world that makes mr happier than rain. the way it smells right before it starts and they way it makes everything smell clean after. the way the cool water forms puddles and makes me want to be 5 years old again. the noise the raindrops make on my window and skylite. the most soothing sound i could ever think of. it’s just amazing to me. i stand outside just to feel the rain on my skin. it’s almost poetic, in my case at least.
they have a guitar strapped around them. they sing. they bang on the drums. the have tattoo’s. they are the “sensitive” type. the fame that comes along with it. they seem unattainable.
i get it. but what i don’t get is why girls decide to get into a relationship with them?
they are gone for months at a time. have more temptations than normal men. in different towns everyday. and the fear of one day having a mean break-up song written about you.
i guess it depends on the individual. but most men will crack under the pressure.
i’ve been around a band boy or two. never dated one. i am friends with a few and its hard just to keep in touch as a friend. and i have no real attachment to them. i couldn’t imagine what a girlfriend goes through. i guess i can see where the crazy phone calls come from. but, give him room. or he will cheat and lie.
i am gone most of the time. i haven’t slept in my own bed in a week. and it does feel nice to have someone to come home to. (or kind of, in my case) maybe thats why? they need something to bring them home. something to keep their mind off of the constant traveling and loneliness of the road.
so, right around the middle of summer, i posted about my top 10 “celebrity” guys. well that has totally and completely changed. some are no longer even on the list. but i am too embarrassed to post it… because i have met and know most of them. what if they came across my blog and found out? how embarrassing, right?
but the other argument is that, this is my personal blog. i shouldn’t have to censor myself at all.
another embarrassing thing is my last.fm artist thingie ma bob. seriously? 3OH!3 is soooooooooo far ahead of my favorite band. like by a huge margin. my favorite band isn’t even number 1 or 2.
whatever. disneyland with anarbor today! soooooo freakin’ excited.
high on the saddest drug you can find. paying for love with my hard earned time. this isn’t funny. this isn’t for you, honey. heading for the lowest point of my bedroom floor. face down, sprawled out. i’ll pretend i can’t hear you anymore. drown you out with the sound of blood rushing towards my head. i give up on you and me. i give up on the promises you said you would keep. strap me down, keep me from ruining your plans. this wasn’t what you thought you were in for. heartache. breath take. stealing dreams from the spaces in between your suicide and judgment calls. here is what is under the tip iceberg. last chances are for people who believe in movie romances. just wave the white flag already. as you keep your pen steady. make sure you document your losses. i say, “i’ll see you saturday.” as you sing, “its aggravating how the circle ends up back to you.”
apart from this night being one of ths most historic moments in american history, i have some lingering thoughts that has nothing to do with Barack Obama being elected president. we’ll get to that later.
let me express my utter disdain for finding things out via myspace. it makes me want to vomit and it hurts, yeah, a lot.
next, i don’t like being used. and it will never happen again. i feel like i have been seriously taken advantage of. it really is a sucky feeling. i should’ve heeded the warnings of those who care about me. i really needed yesterday with crystal. it opened my mind to a lot of things that i have been neglecting.