Watching my closest best friends fall in love is the hardest, saddest, and loneliest feeling in the entire world. As much as I feel left out and miserable about it, I can’t wish them any ill will because I love them so much and their happiness means the world to me. I wish they could just see how upset and singled out I feel. It’s like I am missing out on the best secret ever told.
Actually, I go see a psychologist and we talk about everything.
Today, I was mentioning to her that I have been cursing the gods and my family and friends who have passed away. I was mad at them because they are supposed to be watching over me, helping me in whatever way they can. At least that is what I was brought up to believe, that your friends and family who have passed on are watching over you. I told my psychologist that I feel like they aren’t and I’m missing out. It’s making me very upset when I think about it, or when I am crying and begging them to help me in whatever way they can. I always feel like I never get an answer, like I am forgotten by them.
But just a few minutes ago I was on facebook, doing nothing really. Clicking around between chapters of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I went to my profile page and right under where is says Friends (410) I saw my friend Kristi’s picture at the very top. I always assume those people who are on the side were the last people to have looked at your profile. Whether it is true or not… I feel like I got a tiny answer today. Maybe I am not so forgotten after all.
do it fags
DO IT! :)
- Elizabeth Gilbert
(How I feel about my friends.)